Not everybody likes the way we look, talk or be. Not all of us likes the way we were *born* either. If you look around, and no matter where you are in life, there will always be someone else who is taller, smarter, or has more money than you. That's not your problem. Your problem is, you shouldn't be comparing yourself to them! We are all unique in our own ways and our shortcomings shouldn't be the focus. Look into our strengths. But I will say, you have to find your own competitive advantage (sorry to use a business term here) to win the game girl.
Many of us bear what is known as a "nice girl syndrome". As young girls we were taught we weren't "good", and if we didn't behave in a way that met our family or social expectations then we are deficient in some ways. We were taught how we should behave and what we should we should value because they valued it, or shouldn't because they didn't. For example, no woman in my nuclear family wore make up, therefore make up is bad (or maybe even a little scandalous) But in reality, as a modern women, it's just grooming. Its like putting on professional attire to work and you're respecting others by being well presented. That's different than putting on heavy or show makeup. I'm a firm believer that people should do things that makes them feel good in their own skin. Others can judge you, but you have to feel good about yourself. If you don't like the extra pounds you have in your body, then lose it. Work towards that. If you absolutely love your curves, then don't go for the skinny model that the magazine advertisers are selling you. If you want to accentuate your eyes, put on some mascara and its okay. No one (should) judge. But if they do it's ok. After all, who doesn't want to interact with a well groomed individual? Who doesn't want to walk out and feel good about themselves? We're often not born this way so we use all the healthy help we can! We have to learn to see things in a different light and be open to change and leaning in what serves us.
Time is a powerful force. It transforms our preferences, it reshapes our values, alters our personalities. According to Harvard Psychologist Dan Gilbert, we actually change more often than we think. At age 30 you may think you've found your identity; you may think your personality, values, preferences, likes and dislikes will relatively be stable in the future. But the fact is, we are wrong (1). You were only who you are relatively speaking, 'a moment in time'. We are in fact dynamic. People underestimate how much our personalities will actually change in the next decade person you were 10 years ago, is not the same person you expect to be 10 years later. Studies have also proven the person you predict yourself to be in the future will often be inaccurate. The truth is we modify our identities as we go through life. So why wait in hindsight and not make the modifications that serves us today?
We are all in an evolutionary beings where the self yesterday is not and doesn't have to be the self today. After all, the one constant in our life is Change. If something is not working for you now, ReInvent yourself to make the change you need to serve you presently in time.
Disrupt yourself.
(1) Gilbert, Daniel (2016). "Shifting Time". Ted Radio Hour
