At the beginning of this year, I'm not sure if it's pure happenstance or cosmic forces that brought us together, I fell into a circle of a women's support group called Lean Out. Ironically, it was inspired from a Lean In circle from Sheryl Sandberg's famous book Lean In. It was namely "Lean Out", which is the opposite of leaning in when encouraging women to lean in at the executive boardroom table, and into their work to get ahead in the corporate jungle. In contrast, it is not about doing whatever it takes to climb the corporate ladder, if that's not providing you joy. Just as the name implies, Leaning Out is about leaning out of things that isn't serving you in life. It could be your job, relationship or a lifestyle.
A concept so simple, yet so many of us, including myself find hard to follow all the time. We often get into unhealthy relationships, toxic work environments, lifestyle or even a way of thinking. Because we think we need it, or depend on it, or simply stuck with it. We have the need to feel a part of something, or need to change ourselves to fit in society and our peers, and the need to meet someone's expectations. But that's exactly what causes us to feel helplessly stuck. "It's not that simple", we often tell ourselves. But if we can shift our thinking, our attitudes, habits and ultimately change our belief systems. I believe there is a happy medium, no matter how stuck we feel. They are perhaps trade-offs not achieving perfection but we may find ourselves happier and more in alignment with ourselves. We need to ask ourselves frequently and reminds ourselves the "whys" in everything that we do. If you embrace a growth mindset and are able adapt to new ways, we can all take control of our lives a little more.
Studies have shown that the #1 regret that people have on their death beds is "Lived the Life of Others' Expectations"(1). They say life is short, I think life may seem even shorter if you are not doing the things your heart desires. Practicing living lean is wise because we don't have the time for the things that are peripheral to us. People make up the most of these experiences, and if they are not positively contributing to your life, Lean Out! Focus your energies on the things that are positively contributing to our growth, and brings us joy.
So I encourage you to have the courage to lean out of what is not servicing you.
Thanks to Jessica McClure for bringing forth this brilliant concept, today it is a verb in my vernacular everyday life.
(1) McKeown, Greg (2016). "Essentialism" The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.
